Recently a friend came to me asking some advice. She asked: “What would you say after someone said, ‘“I miss you.”’

I responded: “Naturally, I’d reply, ‘“I miss you too.”’

She then asked, “Okay, then what’s your next statement?”

Hmm, my first response might be:

What’s going on with you? Or,

How come we stopped being friends? Or,

Why are you doing this to me?

I soon realized that these types of statements sounded like blame, would be coming from my ego, and would serve little to move the relationship back into alignment.

After thinking some more, I realized that what probably would serve the relationship to its highest good would be to say something like: “I love you and want to make our relationship work. I’m willing to give you all the time and space that you need if that’s what you want. Yet, healing, connecting, loving, forgiving, and being in relationship requires two people. I want to be your people! I’m asking for you to be mine! You mean the world to me, and there’s a hole in my heart since you’ve been gone. … What do you want from me to make this relationship work?”

One of the reasons psychotherapy works is because the client talks out loud voicing their thoughts and more importantly feelings to the therapist. If the therapist allowed the feelings to remain in the client’s head, then the client wouldn’t progress. Feelings come from the heart and relationships work when they are heart to heart; not head to head, or head to heart.

Now that I’ve opened the door, the other person may reject me, get angry, or even choose to walk away. Though my heart may break, at least I know I’ve tried. I put my heart and vulnerabilities on the line. I’ve done the best I can. The rest is up to them, their God, Spirit, and Divine timing.

Traveling the road of the heart is not easy. Like Robert Frost said in his 1913 poem, The Road Not Taken
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

I believe that if the thought or feeling of anything is in your head (or heart) then as soon as you are aware, then, that’s when you become responsible. This responsibility may or may not require action on your part, yet, you can’t be passive or blame others any longer. You’re not responsible for the outcome, you’re only responsible for being your true authentic Self.

If you are missing someone, I challenge you to travel the road of the heart, put your feelings out, and see what happens. You may be pleasantly surprised of the outcome. No matter the result, you have stepped into your truth, walked the path of boldness, and have changed the way you see and have changed the way you live.