On modern-day pianos, there are three types of pedals.   

#1. The soft pedal, as the word implies, quiets the 88 keys.   

#2. The sostenuto pedal holds one bass note for a long duration of time while the upper notes remain short and/or as long as pressed.  

#3. The sustaining pedal. This is the one most used. Its purpose is to connect the notes.  

This got me thinking about people and our relationships with one another.  

Sometimes, we walk around as if the soft pedal is on. Afraid to speak our feelings, wondering what the other person thinks, will they like me? We hesitate and don’t want to rock the boat, ignore, isolate, abandon all in the name of keeping life on a soft peaceful even keel.   

At other times, we have one true person in our life we connect to-our sostenuto friend. We hold onto them while allowing the others to come in and out and last as long as is in divine order.  

Then, there are those folks we have a long-term sustaining relationship with. We connect with them with ease. Our relationship is harmonious. We transition from one stage of life to another with compassion, support, and joy. We ebb and flow crescendo and decrescendo through life as does the rise and fall of ocean tides.   

When teaching students how to use the sustaining pedal, I crawl down to the floor and guide their feet up and down while coaching them when and how to connect. “When you change chords in your left hand, that’s when you change your pedal. You know when you’re not right when the sound is blurry/overlapping or there’s a space and a disconnect.”  

The same can be said for relationships. You know things are awry when you’ve either (one), stepped on their toes; tried to fix them; told them what to do; want to mother or smother them. During these times your sustaining pedal is overlapping one chord on top of the next. Or (two), you ignore; don’t pay attention to them; walk away when they are talking; or just plain don’t care. During these times your sound is disjointed and there is little beauty in what’s supposed to be harmonious.  

In a perfect world, our fingers play connected with a legato touch. If we disconnect for a second-playing with a staccato touch) then there’s a purpose and we communicate this to the other person with clarity.  

Sometimes, we don’t realize we’ve kept the sustaining pedal on too long until measures later and we stop and listen to what we’re doing. At such times, we lift our hands and feet and begin again. We’re human. We make mistakes. Sometimes we blur the lines between playing and communicating. Sometimes we’re aware and sometimes not. As one of my favorite sayings goes, “Practice makes you better, nothing makes you perfect.” 

Where are you with your relationships? 

What pedal are you using? 

Soft? 

Sostenuto? 

Sustaining? 

Are your chords and melodies-relationship with others-smooth? 

Are you disconnected and need to practice love, kindness, and forgiveness? 

Wherever you are in your piano concerto journey in life it’s the perfect place. You can always go back and practice, practice, practice. The challenge is walking to the bench/the other person, sitting down, placing your hands together, and playing/chatting/communicating. You both have your compositions to share. Not one is better than the other. Mozart is Mozart, and Springsteen is Springsteen. Accepting one another is the key.  

Friendship Musical Alphabet: 

C: change, courage, communication 

D: Dedication, dance, divine order 

E: Evolve, empower, envision 

F: Frankness, fluidity, fly 

G: Gratitude, grace, gentle 

A: Alignment, attitude, action 

B: Brilliance, believe, Blessing 

C: change, courage, communication 

I challenge you to practice your Friendship musical alphabet, use your sustaining pedal, and create beautiful melodies and harmonies with one another. In this way, you will change the way you see and change the way you live. 

Join Me: 

Sunday, August 11: Playing piano, autoharp, and singing with Donilyn Watley 

Unity on the Avenue Spiritual Center 

10:30 AM – 11:30 AM 

4670 East 17th Avenue; Denver, CO 80220