In my last blog, I hinted that I’d talk about the Five essential steps for Selfcare. In case you need a reminder, they are: stop, look, listen, vote, and do.

How many times do you say yes to something and then have to make a 180-degree retraction later?

I know I’ve done this in the past. I might even go as far as to admit that saying yes before thinking might be one of my blind spots.

I’m calling these the five essential steps for Selfcare because learning to say no, setting boundaries, discovering what you really want to do, and not just pleasing someone else, are all ways of being true to taking care of your Self. The next time you start to say yes, try these five simple steps.

1. Stop. Shut your lips, count to ten, and actually make your Self stop in your tracks. You might feel uncomfortable in the silence and that’s okay. It’s better to squirm than to please someone else when it doesn’t serve you.
2. Look. Since you are put on pause, look at the question from all sides. Don’t worry, you have time to discern all the angles. Sometimes, analyzing is a good thing.
3. Listen. Follow your heart and see what you really want to do. What’s that tiny voice in the back of your head really saying? This is the voice of what you want. This is the voice of the direction you need to go in. This is the direction of the spirit. Listen to your Self, you’ll never go wrong!
4. Vote. Make a decision. Choose the path you want to boldly walk. When you make that choice, you feel clearer, stronger, and freer. Letting go and voting allows for the good to filter in.
5. Do. Take action. Now part your lips and say yes or no to the question. You may feel a little fear—standing up for your Self is not always easy. You may even feel guilty if one of the consequences may not please the other person. You are not responsible for their thoughts or behaviors. The only person you have to take care of is you!!!

 I challenge you to try these steps the next time you are faced with a decision. Stop, look, listen, vote, and do. And, if you need more time, tell the person when you’ll get back to them. Nothing is that drastic you have to say yes right now. If you take my challenge, email me and let me know how this worked for you. These Selfcare essentials can change the way you see and change the way you live.