Recently I was on a podcast with Jesse Campbell from You’re Grounded. She allowed me to go deep into the toxic shadows of my life. I explained that there was a time in my life (30 years ago) when I was depressed and suicidal. We chatted about what got me there and how I crawled out.

Too many times in our society it’s taboo to talk about the dark toxic stuff in life. It’s like we have a criminal villain in our closets.

Why?

We all have one, don’t we?

Are we afraid to be vulnerable with one another?

Are we afraid of what they may think?

Why can’t we talk about the things that are toxic in our lives?

I once was told that I couldn’t talk about abuse or depression when speaking to school children. Ridiculous. With the enormous suicide rate amongst teenagers, wouldn’t it be good to let them know they aren’t alone? We all have felt the way they have!

In my book, I titled my teenage years, “Invisible Adolescent.” Don’t you think I felt lost and alone like no one cared? Yes, and I felt that there wasn’t anyone I could go to. If I did, that person would tell my parents my thoughts and feelings, and I’d be even in more trouble.

Thirty years ago, I was in a relationship that didn’t work. I was committed to my partner and gave my Self up to the relationship. Wanting to please, be married forever, I allowed my Self to be under the influence of my partner’s control. I ate what she ate, watched whatever TV shows she watched, gave up my music, friends, not to mention Self-esteem. Once I gave up my Self, I wanted to commit suicide.

Thankfully, I had a Master’s Degree in Psychology and Counseling, and thankfully, I knew enough to ask for help and to get my butt into psychotherapy. Having the desire to heal, I spent many years kicking, screaming, and sobbing my feelings out.

Through therapy, reading books, exercising, learning to eat healthy – in short – learning to love my Self, I turned my life around. That’s why I’m passionate about writing my book and blogs, speaking virtually or live to others, or singing. As I say in my book, “My desire is to touch one life, give one person hope, to take one heart and provide it joy. If I can give a blind child light, an abused person courage, an invisible teen sight, a disabled body wings, a failed relationship promise or a broken Spirit love, then I have served my purpose.”

In my opinion, we need to be willing to be vulnerable with ourselves and with others. It is more than okay to let the Vulnerable Villain out of the closet. It’s time to let the dark toxic painful aspects of our lives out. By being honest with ourselves and sharing our struggles with one another we will heal ourselves, our society, and the world in which we live.

I’ve shared some of my vulnerable villain with you and I challenge you to allow yourself the opportunity to expand and to grow and allow your toxic shadow, as Jesse Campbell calls it, or your own vulnerable villain out to someone you love. You’ll be glad you did for in sharing your Self, you will change the way you see, and you’ll change the way you live.