Last weekend, while attending a women’s retreat, I was reminded of the power and importance of a loving touch.  

For the most part, our Western society puts this touch superpower on the back burner because:  

We don’t want to get into someone else’s space  

we don’t want to offend  

we don’t know what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior, thus, we do nothing. … This all-or-nothing black-or-white thinking often leads us to unhealthy and disconnected behaviors. 

Of course, people shouldn’t go around touching everyone everywhere! This is Not okay! Obviously, there’s a proper time and place! And obviously, some people try to test their boundaries and touch when they should have kept their hands to themselves.  

Excluding those people for our discussion here, … we need to ask permission and receive a clear concrete affirmative yes response from the person with whom we wish to connect.  

Provided confirmation is in the affirmative, touching adds a dimension to communication that goes way beyond the spoken word.  

Being blind, my world is full of what I call talking heads. During our conversation, I don’t see your head nodding! Your smile, no matter how broad it is and how many teeth you show, is wasted on me. Your hand gestures might as well be given to a deaf person. For the most part, I have to go on what your words are saying, your tone of voice is conveying, and your vocal inflection is suggesting. For you, this type of communication would be like you were conducting all your conversations 24/7 over the telephone.   

At one point during the retreat, we were matched into groups of twos. Simultaneously my partner and I asked if instead of gazing into one another’s eyes, we could hold hands. This should be a no-brainer, right? However, this is a rarity in my life. Holding hands, for both of us, allowed us to go much deeper into our hearts and communicate our true feelings. And, later, with a different group of three people, after trying to talk without grasping hands, I found I couldn’t. Without hesitation, I said, “I need to hold your hands to connect with you.” Agreeing, and willing to be in the process with me, we grasped hands. All three of us liked my previous experience and dropped immediately into our hearts at a significantly deep level of sharing and connecting. 

How many times in a day do you touch someone? 

How many times do you leave the house without a caress? 

How many times do you talk with others about something serious without sitting, looking, or holding hands with one another? 

When was the last time you touched someone on the shoulder or knee to let them know you understood them?  

Touch can add warmth and dimension to your communication. The heart can be accessed more fully through touch. Vulnerability, truth, and authenticity can be revealed through touch. Touch can be the healer of the soul.   

I challenge you to make a difference and reach out and touch someone; especially if you’re having a heart-to-heart conversation. A gentle touch conveys you are caring about them. A gentle touch means you’re present! A touch means all is well! A touch, especially with someone with a visible or invisible disability can change the entire conversation into one of trust and love. In touching one another with love and kindness, you’ll change the way you see and change the way you live. 

P.S. After you make an effort to touch someone, how about you reach out and touch me via an email and let me know how this blog touched your life?