There is a popular saying which says something to the effect of some friendships come into our lives for a reason, others stay for a season, and some last a lifetime.

I always embark on every friendship as though we are going to canoe down life’s river together and that our connection will last a lifetime. During the good times, the current is smooth, the sun beams warmly on our faces, and laughter echoes off the shores. There may be turns and twists along our journey, and we may need to paddle hard to get around the rocks; however, at the end of our day’s excursion, we breathe and feel blessed for one another’s companionship and love.

The season or reason relationships are harder to discern from the get-go. One day we are paddling in the sunshine thinking all is well, then suddenly with no obvious reason that we can figure out, the other person turns off and heads upstream, leaving us alone. As we watch them go, devastated and bewildered, we wonder do we chase after them paddling hard to catch up screaming, “Come back! Come back,” or do we let go knowing everything has a reason and a season?

The Seekers’ 1965 hit “Turn Turn Turn” says:

“To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time for every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, a time to die,
A time to plant, a time to reap,
A time to kill, a time to heal,
A time to laugh, a time to weep.
To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time for every purpose under heaven.

A time to build up, a time to break down,
A time to dance, a time to mourn,
And a time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together.
To everything, turn, turn, turn,
There is a season, turn, turn, turn,
And a time for every purpose under heaven.”

It’s hard to let go and give people in our lives the space to do what they need to do to take care of themselves. At least for me, I want to know the why? What could I have done differently? Would I have stepped off the shore if I’d known the outcome?

Maybe I pushed my friend to the other side of the river accidentally. Maybe my friend wanted to have space and I just didn’t read the signals. We all operate differently and we can’t beat ourselves up for not knowing what’s in the other person’s head. We all are doing the best we can. And, you know, hindsight is always better than foresight.

Whether my friendships are to teach me something about myself that I need to be aware of, last a short time span, or to endure my entire life, it’s my obligation to let go, to forgive, and to love unconditionally. I’ll come to know everything in due time. The journey, no matter the outcome is worth the ride.

No matter if you are paddling in the river at the beginning of your journey, facing some rocks, or wondering how come your friend is drifting away, I challenge you to be at peace. Let go of anger, hate, resentments, and analyzing. Life is a blessing and all friends are children of God. They will either paddle back to you or not. Your job is to love them, bless them, and to mean it, and in doing so, you are taking strokes to live an unstoppable, unforgettable, and unbelievable life.