Some of us love to go shopping, while others can’t stand the process.

Take clothes shopping, for example. You stand outside the shop’s window and look in! You admire—with great anticipation—the most beautiful jacket you’ve ever seen. After a while—knowing you shouldn’t, you open the door, walk over and with light fingers touch the garment and slide the shoulders off the hanger. Unable to hold your enthusiasm any longer, you set aside whatever you have in your hands and slip your arms through the sleeves. Perfection reigns! The jacket meets all your expectations—the right size, right color, right material, and right style. Without hesitation, you buy the jacket, and in fact, you wear it home!

For the next day, weeks, and even years, you love your jacket. It’s comfortable and serves you well. Then, one day you look down and notice a button is off, the pocket is torn, and the silly thing doesn’t fit any longer.

With a heavy sigh, you pass it forward and return to the store to find another one.

As you look in the window, you think you see another jacket the same as what you had. You open the door and rush in. This must be divine order. However, upon closer examination, it’s different. You try one after another on. Some are the right color; however, not the right fabric. Some, the fabric is right but the color is all wrong!

Upon reflecting, you remind yourself that the jackets in your home’s closet are similar. Some of your jackets fit, and some don’t. Some look great on you, while others don’t. And some you’ve had a long time, while others you’ve owned for just a moment or two.

I think jobs and careers, friends, family members, bosses, and coworkers are the same. At first, standing outside the window, you’re excited at the new prospects of a new relationship. The fit is perfect. Then, as time goes by, the jacket/friend/job doesn’t fit any longer. You’re sad for the time, energy, and even money you’ve invested has been wasted. You chastise yourself for wrapping yourself up in this endeavor. “Will I ever learn?”

Before you beat yourself up any further, I’m here to say that replacing jackets is just part of life.

The trick is, that without regret, and with appreciation, you give thanks for all the good your jacket/friend/coworker/family member has done in your life. Then, with love, you let go knowing your jacket can be of better service to someone else. The challenge is knowing when to hold on, when to let go, and when to shop for a new one.

Do you have jackets in your closet that no longer fit?

Do you need to clean out your psychological and physical closets?

Are you holding on to your jacket thinking you’ll fit back into it someday?

What’s keeping you from letting go and giving it to the thrift store?

I’ve heard it said, that if we haven’t worn a garment in the past year or two, we should discard the thing for it’s taking up space psychologically and physically and is not serving us any longer. Friends, contacts, and jobs, can be the same. If we aren’t finding purpose in the relationship, then, perhaps that’s a sign to throw it away. It’s not easy, and you may have to ask for assistance.

As spring approaches, I challenge you to assess your jackets and only keep the ones that bring you joy. In this way, you will change the way you see and change the way you live.