Years ago, when I was in psychotherapy, I used to say that I’d do anything to heal from being depressed and suicidal! If that meant digging to the depths of my soul, screaming out my pain, or kicking to get the stuck energy out of my body I’d do it. I equated my psyche to a car’s engine. I was willing to open the hood, take apart the motor, clean off all the dirt, reassemble the engine, close the top, and drive away in contentment. I made this conscious decision to face my unknowns because I wanted to live a joyful, peaceful, prosperous, loving, life. Other people were happy and I wanted that too!

I thought all people operated in this fashion!

After a while, I realized that some people don’t see their car in their drive; others only polish the outsides but refuse to climb into the driver’s seat; some choose to be passengers, and still, others sit in the back seat and direct from that position. Very few drive, decide to stop and go to the psyche mechanic/psychotherapist for a full or partial tune-up.

Part of the reason is, people are afraid to face their imperfections, fears, feelings, or vulnerabilities. It’s much easier to polish the outside—get a facelift, get a new hairdo, and lift weights, than to look inside and see what makes them tick.

Recently, I heard Steve Siebold say that the three things that bring purpose to our lives are:

1. What do we care about?
2. What are we willing to fight for?
3. What are we willing to die for?

For you see, it’s not the things (cars, big houses, or vacations) in life that bring meaning to life. It’s our core passions, purposes, and relationships that fulfill and give depth to our souls. As one of my friends used to say, “The deeper you swim, the higher you’ll fly.”

So, I’m wondering today how you are driving your car?

Are you on the outside looking in?
Does your outside look great but inside you are a mess?
Are you driving and taking charge of your life or do you leave that to someone else?
Are you sitting in the passenger seat watching life go by?
Are you directing others from the comfort of your backseat?
Do you ever stop for a tune-up?

My challenge to you is to take some time, sit quietly, and ask yourself the following questions: What do you care about? What are you willing to fight for? And, what are you willing to die for? Ask yourself each question over and over again until you reach the final answer. i.e.:

I care about living a fulfilled life.
I care about being happy.
I care about making a difference.
I care about leaving a legacy.
I care about the world knowing I was here.
I care about being loved, loving, and lovable.

You get the idea.

I promise, if you give yourself some time to get clear on these answers, you will drive your car with joy and ease. I believe by going through this process you’ll change the way you see, and you’ll change the way you live!