A couple days ago I attended a concert put on by the Opera department at Denver University. It was fabulous! Great to hear young beautiful classically trained operatic voices just beginning their careers in music and theatre. Particularly moving was hearing them close the concert with 40 voices surrounding us audience members singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from the movie Carousel.  

Another moving song was about After the Before. I thought what?  

After the before? 

What does this mean? 

Well, think about it! We are living after the pandemic. We are living after school shootings. We are living after 9-11. 

Before the pandemic road rage wasn’t so prevalent. 

Before the mass shooting at Columbine children and parents felt safe. 

Before 9-11, we didn’t think about terrorism. 

So, before these times … and now after …  

We compare our lives all the time to the before. When I was young, I could buy Coca-Cola for a dime and popcorn for a nickel at our movie theatre. When I was thinner, I could run a 5 K race in 15 minutes.  

When I was employed, I was happier. Whatever. These statements implied that back then life was grand … easier … better than now.  

Now, we are living in the after. We need to adjust to our new way of living and being in the world. We want to go back, and we can’t. The question is how do we adjust to living life After the Before? 

As I’ve probably said many times before, the great American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, said something to the effect that the hardest thing for people to adjust to is change. So, adjusting to life After the Before can be challenging.  

We all wish there wouldn’t be road rage. We all would like mass shootings to stop. We all would like not to worry about terrorism. We all wish wars would end. And yet, we can’t worry about the things we cannot change. As the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr says: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” If we blame, get angry lash out, or feel helpless or frustrated, we are adding fuel to the fire. We need to either come from peace, take action, or both. 

Perhaps we can’t do anything about road rage at 2:00 AM; however, in that moment we can get out of bed, close the window, and pray they don’t hurt themselves. We can breathe and try to relax. In the morning, after some caffeine, we can call our local government and see what action steps we can take to stop the madness. There’s always ways or things we can do in order for us to take our power back.   

So, the next time you find yourself saying, well back then, wishing things were different, regretting this or that, remember life isn’t living in the After the Before. Life is living in the here and now! And the only way to solve the issues of the world here and now is to be kind, find a solution, be bold, and take action. In these ways, you can change the way you see and change the way you live.