The psychologist, Abraham Maslow said something to the effect that, “Change is the hardest thing we’ll ever have to adjust too.”

In a time when people have suddenly lost their jobs, can’t pay their rents, are struggling to put food on the table, and/or facing severe health crisis, change is inevitable.

How do we handle the change? Do we resist it or embrace it? Do we try to hold on or let go?

A part of this embracing and letting go process is the appropriate way to say goodbye. Some folks get angry, blame, deny, or bargain. Others briskly walk away from the situation without giving thought for the folks left behind, leaving grief and pain in their wake.

Wouldn’t it have been better to complete, express feelings, and connect in a healthy way?

Most people don’t know how to say goodbye. Here’s a three-step journaling strategy to a functional way to do this.

One: Write down your appreciations. Examples could include:

• Thank you, for all the time we had together.
• Thank you, for your many kindnesses.
• Thank you, I appreciate the many hours you poured into my heart and my life.
• Thank you, I am forever blessed and changed because of your presence.
• Thank you, doesn’t even cover the gratitude I feel in my heart for you and our friendship.

Two. Write down your regrets.

• I regret, we didn’t have a final farewell in person.
• I regret, the way our relationship ended.
• I regret, I’ll never see you again.
• I regret, any misunderstandings we may have had and/or harsh words spoken.
• I regret, our friendship will not last a lifetime.

Three. Write down your hopes.

• I hope, you find it in your heart to forgive me.
• I hope, whatever you will be doing in your future you’ll find peace.
• I hope, you are blessed and happy.
• I hope, someday we can meet again, hug, and resume our connection.

In all three instances, write down as much as you can; one sentence, five paragraphs, ten pages. The important thing is to release your feelings. I used this formula when I said goodbye to a fifteen-year relationship, I used this when saying goodbye to both my parents before they died, I used this when saying goodbye to my last five Seeing Eye dogs before their retirements or deaths, and I used this technique to say goodbye to both my eyes before surgery to remove them. Whatever and whomever you are leaving, job, relationship, house, health, church, this is a fabulous journaling exercise.

Once completed, you can just save for yourself, condense and send in a card, or perhaps it will provide clarification to speak to another person.

At a time of letting go and embracing the new, let’s learn to say goodbye with authenticity, appropriateness, Truth, and compassion. Let’s treat others as we would like to be treated.