Last Sunday at Unity Spiritual Center Denver, September 14, 2025, I heard a phenomenal presentation by Bob Tipton, author of the book, What’s Right, not Who’s Right A Simple Shift to Regain Our Humanity and Heal Our Relationships at Home and at Work .

As Trish Moris wrote in her email to the congregants before the service: “There’s a deep truth we know in our bones: conflict is part of being human.

Families argue, neighbors disagree, communities fracture, politics divide.

“However, Bob Tipton’s book, What’s Right, Not Who’s Right, reminds us of something deeper — that conflict isn’t just a clash of opinions. It is a spiritual classroom.

Each disagreement is an invitation: will we listen to ego’s demand to win, or Spirit’s call to connect?

“The ego is like a mask we wear, convincing us that being right means survival. Spirit whispers that the mask isn’t needed. We are already whole. The question is not ‘Who’s right?’ but ‘What’s right?’ — what path leads us back to truth, love, and our shared humanity.

“Think of it like this: conflict is a storm. Ego wants to throw more lightning, more thunder. But if we can hold steady through the rain, Spirit cleanses the air and reveals a rainbow — reminding us that clarity comes after surrender.

“At its heart, Bob’s book is about shifting from the small self to the greater Self.

Ego thrives on separation. It says, ‘You are your opinions, your echo chamber, your victory.’ Spirit says, ‘You are part of something bigger. You are a thread in the great tapestry of life.’

“Bob’s book is like spiritual glasses. It’s designed to help us see when ego is behind the steering wheel — those moments when we want to cling to being right. But when we can pause, breathe, and ask, ‘What is the higher path here?’ our individual and collective energy shifts.”

Sitting in the sanctuary, I could feel those words echoing through every heart in the room. Who among us hasn’t wrestled with the sting of conflict? A family member whose politics rub us the wrong way. A friend who misunderstands our intentions. A co-worker who seems determined to oppose every idea we bring forward.

The natural impulse is to dig in, defend ourselves, and prove we are right. Yet in doing so, the very ground we stand on crumbles. Winning becomes more important than connecting, and we lose sight of the deeper truth: we belong to one another.

Bob’s message is not about surrendering our voice or pretending conflict doesn’t exist. Rather, it’s about recognizing conflict as a sacred doorway. Each disagreement holds the potential to bring us closer to understanding — not just of others, but of ourselves. When we pause long enough to ask, “What’s right here?” instead of “Who’s right?” we open ourselves to solutions that transcend ego and invite Spirit to lead.

This isn’t easy work. It asks us to be vulnerable. To soften. To release the illusion that our value lies in always being correct. But as Bob reminded us, ego’s armor may feel protective, yet it isolates us. Spirit’s embrace may feel risky, yet it restores us to wholeness.

I left Unity that Sunday feeling both challenged and inspired. What if we, as individuals and communities, began to practice this shift daily? Imagine families where love mattered more than proving a point. Workplaces where collaboration outweighed competition. Neighborhoods where curiosity replaced suspicion.

The healing of our world does not begin with a politician, a program, or a policy. It begins with each of us choosing connection over conquest, compassion over control, Spirit over ego.

So the next time you find yourself in conflict — whether with a loved one, a stranger, or even within your own thoughts — pause. Take a breath. Ask the sacred question: What’s right, not who’s right?

I challenge you to put this into practice. Choose one conversation, one relationship, or one conflict in your life where you normally feel the pull to “win.” Instead, pause and ask yourself, What path will lead me closer to love, truth, and connection? Then take one small step in that direction.

Let us become living examples of Bob Tipton’s message. Because when we shift from ego to Spirit, we don’t just heal conflicts — we help heal humanity, and when we heal humanity, we change the way we see and change the way we live.