Life is about relationships. Relationships with family, friends, schoolmates, coworkers, spouses, and of course, with Self, spirit, God, Jesus, Buddha, and/or higher power.
We join professional or service organizations, volunteer for community activities, go out to dinner, participate in sports or cultural events, or gravitate to religious services; all in hopes of making a connection with someone else. We, after all, are social creatures.
At first, the connection is tentative building on mutual interests. As time passes, the longer we’re engaged, the deeper the connection becomes, similar to a figure skater etching the toe pick of her skate into the ice to create a beautiful image.
Just like figure skating, building a relationship takes repetition. Sometimes, we falter, lose our balance, and even fall. At such times-lying on the ice, we’re aware that the etched figure became damaged, the boundaries were blurred, and picking ourselves up from the ice would take time.
I think there are four components to learning how to skate again and building a relationship; no matter if it’s short-term, long-term, or one which lasts a lifetime.
1. Speaking truth. Words are powerful! What you think about you speak about. Words can destroy and shatter other’s hearts and souls or they can empower others towards their greatness. There’s that old adage that says, if you don’t have something nice to say, then, don’t say anything at all. Let your words be a rainbow for good not a sword of evil. … Be careful what you say. Remember, words come from thoughts, thoughts come from God, and thoughts become things!
2. Vulnerable Heart. Being vulnerable isn’t easy. You might get hurt! The person may leave you! The high expectations and trust you had in them were broken! At the end of the day, it’s always better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. It’s not always your fault that the circumstance happened! Your heart is your connection to God and source. Keeping it open and vulnerable is the key and your path. Work through your feelings, be strong, and eventually, you’ll stand on your own two feet again.
3. Willingness to Forgive. Breath. This takes time! The deeper your connection or the higher your expectations, the more time you need to heal. Be patient! The other person is doing the best they can with what they have! You Do You. Let go! While you’re working on forgiving them, also forgive yourself. All things are in divine order. Maybe that relationship wasn’t meant to be long-term! Maybe there was a lesson! Maybe the circumstance was there to lift you up and make you stronger. No matter what, forgive, forgive, forgive, and forgive some more. This may take once or a million times! Keep forgiving and this will help set you free!
4. Have Gratitude. Everything is a blessing, no matter what! Your life, your friends, all circumstances, everything. “There is not a spot where God is not!” See yourself as blessed! See your life as blessed! See your health as blessed! See your career as blessed! You are blessed! You are loved! You are loving! You are lovable! Remember this!
Relationships are hard! They take time, love, and patience. Relationships take a willingness to speak the truth, have a vulnerable heart, forgive, and be grateful for all the blessings, big and small. All things are possible! You can stand on the ice again! You can glide across, lift your arms up, and swirl into your greatness! The challenge is to be willing! If you are willing, you can etch your way to change the way you see and change the way you live.